October 24, 2024

by NATASHA DEVALIA

Grape Seeds 

in one moment—

what is seen:

her father’s tears on her face,

her mother’s stud in her ear.

what is known: 

there is no solution 

but to leave, 

the light has left her eyes. 

one deep breath.

what is felt:

the tightness of her brothers’ hugs,

her tears squeezing their way out.

what is desired:

courage, hope.

what is unseen:

grape seeds in her belly, 

the splinter in her foot, 

the air in her lungs.

what is unknown:

if they will stamp her passport,

if she will be safe,

if she will be accepted there.

what is unfelt:

fear and emptiness,

numbness. 

what is not desired:

fear and emptiness,

numbness.

a journey of life 

in one moment 

of treacherous seas,

by boat, by foot, 

by truck, a tuna can—

being

            in limbo

neither here nor there:

the end of a life project,

the middle of a divorce,

the midnight library,

every little death.

one moment:

seen and unseen, 

known and unknown,

felt and unfelt,

desired and undesired.

every moment

a lifetime.

*

Shed the Load

Before candles there was electricity,

now the candle is burning on both ends. 

Shed the load — no power 

Share the load — 1 hour 

Save the load — 4 hours 

DAGADAGADAGADAGA

FEEDMEFEEDMEFEEDME 

DAGADAGADAGADAGA

Load Shedding is the only thing 

our government has promised 

and delivered,

but even that is never on time.

4 rebels in protest are banging, 

shouting, gathering at the ZESCO offices 

tonight; lighting torches 

in a movement of desperation.

“Let’s go to Kariba,” 

said  Mr. ZESCO manager, 

“so you see for yourselves, 

we are powerless.” 

“See! Nyami nyami is breathing fire. 

Our river dragon— furious,

for 70 years the dam 

split him from his wife.”

“It is a love story,” said Mr. Manager, 

“it’s a love story you see,

that didn’t end well.”

Shed the load — no power 

Share the load — 8 hours 

Save the load — 10 hours 

DAGADAGADAGADAGA 

FREEMEFREEMEFREEME

DAGADAGADAGADAGA

Residential GROUP D: BAULENI , CHAWAMA CLINIC, 

CHAWAMA AREA, PART OF KAUNDA SQUARE STAGE 1, 

KAUNDA SQUARE STAGE 2, PART OF CHAMBA VALLEY, 

PART OF MTENDERE EAST… 

KALUNDU AREA

is free of load shedding,

Yet it is in darkness.

…even loadshedding is never on time.

Shed the load — no power 

Share the load — 14 hours 

Save the load — hour after hour.

Candle-light dinner for two:

nshima and relish, but the chicken smells bad.

It was bought yesterday. 

But Mr. Manager,

“How can we survive 

when even UTH 

is running on a generator?”

DAGADAGADAGADAGA

HEARMEREMEMBERME

FOREVER&EVERMORE

It is a love story you see, 

that didn’t end well.

 But how much longer, can the candle 

continue to burn

                                     on both ends?

*

The Lost Battle

I held my breath, 

                    dove into the murky pond,

prepared to slay the dragon of the deep— 

the final obstacle in this quest of heroes;

Then you will understand what I need, 

     who I am,

                   you will choose ME. 

We will bathe together

in clear blue waters where finally, 

you will see me, and I, you. 

All this, only to be slayed myself.

The battle was treacherous,

wounded, I painted the swamp floor

in my own blood and mucous.

I fought back and stumbled, 

I accused as I crumbled: NO one helps me. 

You never choose ME, or CARE about me. 

All this, to be slayed myself. 

Broken, I turn to a higher power 

as I cower on the riverbed.

All that remains is:

I love YOU.

Whether you see me or not,  

whether you choose me or not, 

                            love me or not…

I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU.

There is only one way out of this pond:

when you hurt me 

I will protect myself,

when your eyes skim over me 

I will see myself,

when I am unlovable

I will still love myself, 

All this, to be slayed myself, 

to climb out of the pond,

all this, because I love YOU.